(July 25, 2010), Holiday ……
Well. It is holiday season. The streets are deserted, almost no kids around. So our boys started asking where everyone is. They were especially interested in Vigo, our neighbors youngest boy. Initially they didn't plan on going, but eventually they did. We explained to our boys that the other children are on holiday. They take the airplane or drive for a long while.
A few hours later Gabko came around and said he wanted to go on holiday to Slovakia. (We told the boys we have to return next year). He even stated that his time in Slovakia with us was holiday. He knows vacation / holiday is something temporary. He just says. Sleep, sleep, sleep, sleep, school, sleep, sleep, Vigo back… Very keen. (btw every day he knows how many nights he has to sleep before he can go to school again)..
Both the boys don't have any issues talking about Slovakia. They think the house we stayed in is like "grandpa's house" we have over here at the lake. (have to stop now, Gabko wants attention which he's entitled to)
(continuing on the 28th)
Again, very busy week. To finish the story above. They are very relaxed about the whole situation. We did talk a bit more and Natasja "tricked" them in talking about their professional parents back in Slovakia. Together she talked with them about the trip next year and whom we would visit. First we would visit our friends and Prague, then we would visit our friends in Poprad and of course visit the children’s home. Then Natasja asked if they wanted the visit their "starre mamka and starre otcko" (old mamma and old pappa). Gabko said, without hesitation, no, not fun. And played on ……….. now, was this reaction because of loyalty to us, or does he really didn't like it …….. We'll never know…..
This morning we visited the dentist, again. The dentist was very surprised about Gabko's teeth. Our efforts using the electrical brush paid off. Almost all the black "taint" has gone now. Using a special brush he removed the last of the stain. Very nice. But Gustiks teeth are bad…. He cleaned his teeth again, opening the infection in his jaw. Next Friday will be the day. Gustiks molar will be removed completely the infection will then be cleaned… A few weeks later he'll go for full dental reconstruction.
Gabko had his first swimming lesson today. We wanted him to go for the speed course (5 months instead of 14 months) but it was fully booked. So Natasja signed him up for the regular schedule. However, Natasja got a call, there was a free spot in the speed course. So Natasja explained Gabko already signed up for the normal course. They said, no problem let him come and we'll see if he can attend the speed course. So Natasja did and Gabko was more than welcome on the speed course. I am very happy and the upcoming weeks I'll be in the swimming pool during Sunday mornings to go swim with our boys 
.
Not really much to report…. their Dutch gets better and better by the day and now and then our friend from the UK is over. Gabko understands he speaks a different language and now plays with more words. As our friend was leaving Gabko noticed we said bye bye. Then he said "bye bye, tot ziens, ciao ciao zelfde" meaning all these mean the same. Quite beautiful how a 4 year olds brain works….
Bye my friends and enjoy.
BTW my teeth were fine. Got a free sample of tooth paste from the dentist
(15-7-2010) "Stunned"
Well, it has been awhile, since I’ve written. I had a lot of work to do, so didn’t find the time to update you all on the adoption. Today we had a potential new employee. He applied for a job at my company. We have to wait and see. With one man extra onboard we’ll be able to serve our customers just that bit better.
Anyway, lack of resources was the main reason not to update. But tonight all is fine so I can write a nice upate….
The boys stunned me the last couple of days. Especially Gabko, even though he’s been here for just 10 weeks he is starting to use full sentences and using them the correct way. He now says “can you turn on the light please†when he wants to use the toilet and the light is off. A few days ago I came home for lunch. He approached me and said: “Daddy, please wait and sit downâ€. Then he started telling me what he had done that morning (of course not in full sentences). I was stunned. The speed at which these boys learn and comprehend our language is really amazing. It also makes them more relaxed. As now we can fully understand each other. There is no need for them anymore to take our hand and point stuff out. They still love to “play†with their Slovak language. Natasja has installed a translation APP on her iPhony… It translates between Dutch and Slovak. The boys know this and start asking us for the Slovak word for objects. Words they probably don’t even knew in Slovak. They will say the Dutch word; eg “door, or windowâ€. Look at Natasja and ask “slovenskaâ€? Natasja doesn’t know the word. She’ll say. “I don’t know the word Gabko†than gabko will say “Telephone†and point to her iphony… He is so aware about his situation, and he loves to show of the Slovak words he still knows. We just keep playing like this, as if he wants to learn another language doing it playful is the best way.
There are so many thing I would like to share, but that would be too much, so I just want to share one more thing for this update. It happened in the past days. As some of you know we live below sea level swinging should be second nature, as if shit hits the fan, you’d better be a good swimmer otherwise you’ll drown. Luckily our boys are like water rats. They have no fear for water. This is both good and bad. As they have no fear for water they’ll just walk up the quay and might fall in. On the other hand this also means that they are allowed to start taking swimming lessons.
So Natasja started applying them for swimming lessons. Openings available in January……. So we need to be patient. When attending you’ll need a “floatation suiteâ€. We are so lucky that we’ve ebay. Natasja found them and ordered them in two shipments. The first one that came in was for Gabko. It was delivered by the parcel service and Gabko was in the front yard. He saw the package being delivered and handed over to Natasja. Immediately the package was opened and Gabko saw his floatation suite. He put it on and within 20 minutes he was in the bath “test driving†it. You should have seen him laugh. Of course Gustik wanted one for him as well. So Natasja told the boys that the next day there would be another delivery. The next day the boys explained to us that today a package should arrive with Gustik’s floatation suite. The boys were outside, once they spotted the parcel service (same guy as before) they both went nuts. They ran to Natasja and unpacked the “packageâ€. Of course this contained the other swim suite for Gustik, they both wore them and Natasja made pictures.
The above made me think how quickly they associate faces. They knew a package was coming and they recognized the parcel man. Again unbelievable.
Totally forgot, we went to the Drag races in Drachten last Saturday. This meant splitting the boys up for a longer period. Natasja wanted to see a friend and take Gustik. I went to Drachten with Gabko. As always we explained the evening before what we would be doing on Saterday and asked if the boys understood and agreed with it. Yes they did and on Saturday we both went our ways. The boys kissed each other and said “see you tonight†and got in the cars.
It was hot… 32 degrees, at the race trace it was even warmer. Gabko was fine during the 1,45 h trip. He sang and listened to fairytales. Once we got at the track we visited our Czech friends. They were racing that day and Gabko was allowed to sit on the bike. I took some pictures and he was really happy. We looked at some races together and after 1.30h it became so hot that we headed back to the car and drove back home. We took a slightly different route and I showed Gabko the “afsluitdijk†one of the most famous Dutch works. Halfway we stopped and got out. We got near the water and saw jelly fish and fish. After 20 minutes we continued our trip.
I was the first to arrive home. Gakbo helped my preparing dinner. Natasja arrived at 18.30 and the boys were reunited. Gustik told me what he’d been doing, Gabko told Natasja what he’d been doing.
Neither of them had any problem being apart. They were clearly convinced we’d bring the back together in the evening.
The boys now show so much confidence in us and are clearly letting us take care of them that pretty soon we’ll start encountering more people with them.
They still sleep like roses.. 19.00- 07.00…. Damn, we are lucky.
Only the eating is slow, we still don’t know why, as in Slovakia and the first two weeks in our house they ate quickly. It might be Gustik’s teeth, it might be something else. But it also seems to be normal for their age. At the moment the best suggestion I got is that they just like being at the table together. So now we start reducing the amount of talking during eating. This helps a lot. But will probably last for some time…..
Well really nothing bad to report, they grow, they gain a bit of weight, they start talking Dutch more and more, they are very social and what we like is that they don’t have tantrums. Very very very lucky. Some of my friend go nuts when there little have one, but we are just lucky I guess.
Sweet dreams and don’t forget to laugh. (it burns carbs)
Niels
(13-06-2010) "Long awaited update"
Dear readers, I would like to apologize for the delay in posting my updates. I received some complaints from some of you…(more or lost valid ones)
I have to say I might have underestimated the way our boys "dictate (in a good way)" our daily process.
In the old days I could get a nice shower, and it wouldn't matter if it would take 5, 10 or even 20 minutes. These days I have to plan my showers carefully. For example, at some customers I like to start at 08.00 in the morning, that means getting out of bed at 06.00, showering at 06.03 and leaving the shower at 06.13.. However, with the boys around I need to pay extra attention not making NOICE!!. As the boys love to shower it happened to me a few times that the boys get in the shower at 06.05…. this leaves me with two major problems…. The first one is that I'll never be able to make it for 06.13 to leave the shower, the boys take a bit more than 5 minutes to wash and they want to play with the toys in the shower… Taking more and more time…As a result I can't make it to my customer at 08.00. Another very BIG problem is that Natasja gets a bit sad, see needs to get out at 06.15 instead of 07.15 *(the boys regular time to get up)*… I literally ruin her morning as the boys will be fully charged and ready to get going at 06.30…. Way too early for Natasja. So for me the trick these days is to shower the evening before, very silently in the morning, making sure the boys won't wake or…. no shower at all… I can tell you, I almost mastered the art of silent showering.. Nice side effect is that I can now shower in under 5 minutes, this make Natasja very happy as she always compliant about my long showers..
Our days pass very quickly, but I do feel sad I can only enjoy the boys 100% during the weekends. On a normal day I can only spent some 2 to 3 hours with them.. I envy Natasja, but she sees it differently… (how come)…
We are very surprised at the speed they learn Dutch at the moment… When we first met them they were able to count in Slovak, now they count in Dutch and when we ask them to do so in Slovak they just don't remember… This evening I played one of their Slovak favorite children’s song "Kolo, Kolo Mylinske". Five weeks ago I could have played it for over one hour. But now after two times they asked for a Dutch childrens song. The same goes for the Slovak/Czech children’s DVD's. Since we are home they have not asked for it nor made any references to it. They only like to see Sesame Street and the regular children DVD's in Dutch..
Playing with the other children in the neighborhood goes superb. Today I witnessed the sheer patience children have with each other. Gabko was playing with one of the boys on the playground. Gabko didn't understand the boy so the other boy started explaining talking very slow and pointing it out. It didn't seem to bother anyone of the it took over 4 minutes.. And that's the strong point with children, they seem to have a built-in patience for these things. Gabko was happy and they both played along.
Today they were playing with water guns. The thing with water guns is, once they're empty you need a refill…. (this is what the other boy was explaining to Gabko). So Gabko came running in the house screaming (in Dutch) "new water please"…later when we had dinner, once Gabko finished his glass of juice he said "can I have a glass of /new water/ please" Accompanied with his big smile…
So i think at the moment they learn like 4 or 5 new words a day, most of them not known to us as they pick these words up on the playground. We noticed that it take some time for the words to settle, usually a day or two. For us it is fun to hear words back we intensively spoke a few days before.
There is almost no need for us to speak Slovak anymore. They use the Slovak and Dutch words mixed. Depending on the situation they'll use Slovak first and when we ask them "Hollandska Prosim" they'll repeat it in Dutch (as far as they know the words). We also found that Gabko is speaking more and more with Dutch words to Gustik. This is a very good thing as we were afraid they might keep their own language between them.
In the past week Natasja took the boys to a children's farm, Schiphol Airport (watch the planes) school, see the dentist and get groceries. Last Friday it was the boys first day at school (well, day care) even though Natasja is not going to return to work until January 2011 the biggest problem around here is that all the children are at daycare or school. As a result the playground is dead empty till 15.00 in the afternoon. They boys don't like that no friends, no joy. Also we are aware of the fact that the boys attended some kind of day care in Slovakia and interaction with other children is boosting their ability to learn Dutch. Besides the fact that it will also help improving their social skills. As of August 15th they will get SUBSIDISHED language classes… (tax payers money!) at the day care centre. So we are lucky as I saw how expensive daycare is.. Two kids, 5 days a week will set you back at least 40.000 EURO's!!! which is considered 2x modal salary!! (Hence the subsidizing..) we are lucky as we get two days paid by government
We also see them do a lot of new things. In the last week they started "blocking the stairs". When we go up or down the stairs Gabko will spread his legs and reach out with both his hands to the side rail. (They didn't do this in Slovakia and we’ve not showed them this). He then will say to me, Gustik or Natasja (in Dutch) "Can I pass please" of course he wants us to repeat it. Sometimes he wants us to repeat it a few times. I think this is a good thing, these are boys things. IMHO It is very natural behavior.
Copying Dad is also fun. Every morning Gabko tries to get the same color clothes on as I do. So when I wear a jeans he has to wear a jeans. When I wear a red shirt, he has to wear a red shirt as well. I also think that is normal especially for a 4 1/2 year old.
A TAIL IS A PENIS…….:
On the children’s farm the boys saw some goats… Pointed at their tail, smiled and said "penis"… Very embarrassing. So we now have to correct this issue J.
The thing we have the most problems with at the moment are not that dramatic, but I do want to share it with you.
EATING:
Both are becoming slow eaters. Gustik has a reason, his teeth are completely rotten!! Big time. Natasja went to the dentist with them and he was shocked. Gustik has "suction caries" typical result of giving your baby warm milk (with honey or sugar) AFTER brushing your teeth. It should be outlawed cause we have to feed Gustik baby food as he's unable to chew properly. (Thanks professional mom…) Gabko had one little hole in his teeth. The black stain he had/has is reducing and not something we should worry too much about. So eating is a endeavor, but we'll cope.
SEARCHING BORDERS:
Gustik is not (yet) searching borders. He's really settling in and enjoying his current situation. Gakbo on the other hand tries it, at least 5 times a day. But he doesn't look for the fight anymore, saying once or twice "no no, or foei-foei" is sufficient. Also asking them not to do so and telling them why helps a lot. They understand when something is dangerous and they understand that we sometimes say no, without explanation.
We are very happy and I have to say we get better and better.
So now we've got this part managed we can focus on getting our own lives synchronized with the rest of the world.
Please don't be mad, as I try to update as much as possible, but this is not always possible.
B.t.w., the boys do gain weight with our high calorie and fiber food..
Groet,
NIels
(2-6-2010) "Velký Problem (Big Problem)"
Well it has been a little while. Some of you I have spoken personally, some not. But today an update on our process.
As expected some things got worse, some got better. I have returned to my Full Time job and Natasja is taking care of our two little angels.
We reduced the time to get the boys to sleep from over two hours to under twenty minutes. I was about to brag about it but Gabko wasn’t up to the game today and kept asking for me every five minutes. However, if and when I look at friends, they all say that we shouldn’t be complaining AT ALL!!
The change we’ve experienced in their behavoiur is tremendous. Getting them to bed in the beginning was H..E..LL.LL.. Really they started crying as soon as we would even spell the word sleeping. These days they tell us how the bedtime ritual works. Works most of the time except today. (FYI I am interrupting my typing to check-in on Gabko every two minutes….)
As you probably know we’ve slow eaters. That’s improving, but our friends (who have adopted from Columbia) gave us a little tip. They said during eating put a clock on the table and show them how long they have to finish their plates. We’ve been doing that for a few days now and it is working perfectly. We start out with 20 minutes. This is what usually happens:
Niels: 20 minutes
Gabko: (repeats:) 20 minutes “yesâ€
Gustik: “yesâ€
Timer starts ticking….
at roughly 18 minutes they still are in no rush at all. But start telling what will happen.
Gabko: no eating.. Big Problem…
Gustik: no desert…
Niels and Natasja: yes
This repeats itself till like 7 or 8 minutes. Somehow they then figure out they’ll miss out on their dessert and start eating more rapidly.
During the last two minutes they’ll check each other’s progress and if one is finished he’ll tell the other one “Velký Problemâ€â€¦.
Till now they only missed their dessert once…. (out of 7)
Today something different happened. We made the table and Gabko kept insisting on having a knife. Natasja was against it (as it would confirm his behavior, keep nagging and I’ll get what I want, which I totally agree on). But the way he was asking for it didn’t look like nagging to me, he really WANTED the knife. So I gave it to him. I offered to help him and he said, yes please. So together we cut his dinner even smaller. He even did a few pieces on his own. And please note, no playing with the knife, no he was using it properly. Keep in mind that during this time the clock was ticking away.
Once Gabko was halfway he returned the knife to my plate and continued eating, not to fast, but he was eating nicely. Then out of the blue..â€Ocko, Velký Problem†(Daddy big problem) and pointing to my plate (which was barely touched) and the “clock†(Clock means Natasja’s iPhone running in timer mode… BTW Apple should find a way not to dim the display within two minutes. … daddy mode…) followed by “no desertâ€â€¦â€¦There was no way I could finish my plate in time.. So now the boys were not competing against each other, but against me. You should have seen the smiles on their faces. These smiles became even bigger once the timer hit 0.00…. As daddy wasn’t finished and both the boys were…
Just some facts of the day.
Yesterday evening our cats were running through the house (of course after our angels were sleeping!!!) they caught a little bird and gave the bird a forced introduction in all the rooms. Something the bird didn’t like, something we didn’t like and something our cats enjoyed. I was already imagining the massacre of a half eaten bird in the boy’s room….
This morning Gabko wasn’t willing to leave his bed (THAT’S A FIRST!!).
They are learning lots and lots of new words.
We can give them request quite a lot of them in Dutch which they’ll understand
- please wash (hands, head, hair, etc)
- Do you have to pee
- Please get into your clothes, shoes, pajamas, etc
- Do you want something to drink
- Shall we play
Also this evening Gabko started to use Dutch verbs. During dinner he pointed to his glass saying “drinking†looking like he was asking for something, we complimented and of course he was allowed to drink. In the past he would only say “juice†or “glass†and point to it.
It is very funny, the first words they said were “pick me up pleaseâ€. Second one was I think “Green is grass†third one I don’t even remember. But now, heck… 7 weeks later, we barely use Slovak words and they are just fine with it.
This week I even noticed that they are using Dutch words in their own conversations. Whilst talking Slovak to each other we hear Dutch words in between, very funny.
Just to close it up, yesterday morning I made breakfast. Walked to the fridge and asked Gabko what he wanted. “Gabko, do you want juice or milk†he replayed “no water please†(please note, not the Slovak word for water, but the Dutch word).
I am very proud of our boys and also on Natasja as for her it is the hardest.
Their smiles make me feel very happy and make me smile as well.
So my friends this ends another update.
Enjoy and don’t forget to smile.
Niels
(01-06-2010) "Quick update"
I know it has been a little while since I've writing something, but time is scarce.Yesterday the boys had their "kindergarden" meeting. They’ll have one next week also. After school holidays (august) they'll attend. I just figured how EXPENSIVE!! Kindergarding is.. Man I should be looking in to that business!!
Anyway both boys where in a very good mood afterwards. They loved it. I hope they can wait till august….
Niels
(25-05-2010) "No update"
Sorry, at the moment no update. Will do so asap, but just a few other things that need my urgent attention.
However, I do want to share a few new photos (see fotoalbum on the right side of this website), these pictures clearly express the boys. Their faces and especially their laughs give me a very happy feeling.
B.t.w., boys get more relaxed every day. Thanks Jarmila!! Keeping the same ritual, telling the boys what we are going to do and complimenting them does work PERFECTLY!!
(22-05-2010) "A Full Week"
Well, we’ve made it through our first full week. And I am not complaining. It starts feeling “normalâ€. I must admit I cannot do all the thing I used to do, but the new thing I get back are so much more rewarding.
Today I was impressed by the speed the boys pickup new words and use them. We used quite short words and sentences towards the boys, not to confuse the boys and make the transition as gently as possible. But this afternoon Gakbo said “don’t do that pleaseâ€. I had to correct him and her responded with that sentence…. It took me by surprise. So I had a little dilemma. I still needed to correct him, but at the same time I was very proud he’d used the combination of words (which I didn’t tell him, maybe Natasja did)… So I opted to compliment him and put him on his chair, but only for a very short while..
They speed at which the boys learn all the new words is stunning, We also notice they are “loosing†their Slovak words very quickly. Which is kinda sad, but understandable. They still speak Slovak to each other, but it is getting less and less.
Every time we sit at the table to have breakfast, lunch and dinner we have the same ritual. We all point to items (the table, the chair, the mugs, the plates, the fork, knifes ,etc) and say the Slovak and Dutch word. This morning I noticed that they don’t even want to say the Slovak word anymore, they are just interested in the Dutch word.
This morning all of us had a bath first the boys wanted to bate with me. Then I got out and Natasja got in. They still love to bate. They were in for over one hour. Once I got out they insisted (like always) to splash mama with cold water. Well, one time is nice, but after 5 mugs of cold water Natasja gets a bit moody. So I now trick the boys. They think they use cold water (but they don’t) and Natasja doesn’t get cold… Fun for all parties.
Gustik was afraid for “soap†and water in his eyes. But as Gabko is the big brother and showed him how to keep his eyes closed since yesterday Gustik want to show us (repeatedly) that he can do it also. Quite funny, but sometime he fails and still has to cry a bit…
As our backyard doesn’t have proper “toys†and all our “inside†toys are moved outside Natasja opted to buy some proper outside toys. I agreed, so after Gustik’s afternoon sleep we headed out to the “Makro/Metroâ€. We turned on the highway and …. Were immediately stuck in a traffic jam. Next exit was 10Km..It took us over 50 minutes to get there. It usually takes 5 minutes. I said to Natasja we should not go to the Makro/Metro and it would be better to try it tomorrow. There was an accident and I wasn’t sure we would be able to get back in time for dinner and the boys to sleep.
We turned around and visited our friends (whom have a foster care daughter). They boys were a bit “scared†but that’s a good thing. Every time we meet our friend (for them new people) they stay close to us. A very very good thing. This is a good indicator for us. They trust us and not everybody else. They also have a big dog (very friendly, but big). As always they were scared. But as this dog was lying down they walked towards the dog and start petting the dog… Dammm. Here goes our “don’t go there, big dog…†So they are not afraid of dogs anymore… Thanks to our friends… So we need to come up with a new solution to keep them away from certain spots (water!) in our living area…
Then we got home for dinner. Our little neighbor boy had to go with his mom, but opted to stay with us for a little while. After some time his mom knocked on our door…..Ehm.. Can Vigo stay with you a little bit longer… My brilliant husband has sawed in his finger… Sure we said, has he eaten yet? No she replied. We said she shouldn’t be worried, we would make sure he would get something to eat.
We know he’s (like his brother and sister) a problematic eater. He doesn’t like anything.. But we had peas, carrots, backed potatoes and chicken..As soon as he sat down he told us he didn’t liked it. I saw our boys faces and they didn’t understand. (hopefully they won’t copy this behavior as it will make our live difficult!) But our boys were hungry and started eating. Natasja said to Vigo, our boys come from a country where sometimes some people don’t have much to eat. Vigo started eating anyway and said. Is that why Gustik and Gabko are little?.. He ate it all expect for his chicken. But we asked him to taste it. He did and politely said he didn’t like it. So we said, you tried, so you don’t have to finish it.
After dinner boys played a little while and then I put them to bed, no drama, just a little bit annoyed. But the source might be that Vigo was still downstairs playing a bit.
Once our neighbor got back it turned out that the saw wound wasn’t very bad. Even so tiny that stitching wasn’t required. We told our neighbor how Vigo behaved during dinner. He said, well not too bad. But he really doesn’t like meat at all. But a good thing you had him eat vegetables.
So again a very nice day. I am really proud of Natasja as she has to adjust the most of all of us. If someone has a hard time it is her
We spoke to my aunt (Canada). My cousin printed all my little stories for her and she was very happy she could be part (read) of some of the things happing to us.
I am tired, and will go to my bed now…I had a lot of smiles today and am very proud of Natasja and my boys as they all put in a noticeable effort to get things working.
Cheers my friends,
Enjoy your free Monday (at least for some of you)
Niels
(19-5-2010) "Little Boys"
Every morning when I wake up I feel blessed. Until now neither of the boys have shown any “stereotype†behavior associated with adoptive children, at least, the behavior that we were warned for by the “professionals†and the information we were giving during our mandatory courses. This led to a very funny situation yesterday evening.
Niels: I don’t see any “stereotype“ behavior
Natasja: No, me neither, maybe we are doing something wrong
Niels: Yes, or maybe we don’t see it
Natasja: No, can’t be. We are so careful and sensitive for these things
Natasja: Give me the books from our adoption course
Niels: Good Plan!!
Niels and Natasja are scavenging the adoption books for clues
Niels: Hmm, I’ve here the five behaviors that should fit adoptive children;
(Niels reads them)
Niels: Nope, none of them fit.
Natasja reads her book: Can’t find anything here either, description of behavior doesn’t fit the way they behave.
Conclusion, our boys have barely (none) “stereotype†adoptive behavior…..
We both said, they should also mention you could have almost no issues. This was confirmed to me by a friend who also adopted. He said, every child is different, and yes, there will be issues, but not to worry as it is very unlikely you’ll have them all….
Gustik is relying less and less on his older brother Gabko They also stopped doing some things that were/are not appropriated to their age. They make a little mess during dinner, they ask for help, they allow us the help them. They clearly surrendered to us for dependability. This is for us a very satisfying fact, even though it means more work for us.
So our little boys are growing, both physical and emotional. We were watching some photo’s today and saw a huge difference in the way they looked (eyes) on our first meeting and how they look today. Besides the fact that they are much more cheerful, they also gained some weight, this is clearly seen in their faces, as they look much “fullerâ€. They still are quite small, and most trousers will just drop of their butts (no butts….) so a bit more weight won’t harm them at all.
They interact with the kids in the neighborhood, They cycle, they play on the playground and tell daddy to go away as they feel “bigâ€. I’ll let them play with the other kids, but will stay close to monitor no “grownups†get near them. Their interaction with other children is remarkable. Gabko even said he wants to go to school..Reason for that seems to be he’s figured out that his “new friends†are not around till 15.00 in the afternoon, cause they are at school. But we still have to keep him home.
So one can see that even if you prepare for the worse, all can be a lot easier.
I can only say, count your blessings, only if they are few, as they make your life a lot easier and joyfull.
(17-5-2010) "Daddy goes to work"
Today is the first in the office for me. Just getting all the work done that has been lying here for too long. Natasja is alone with the boys and all looks fine. They visited quickly and went back home. We registered them at our city’s administration and have to wait for 5 days to see if they got accepted… more to come.
Don’t forget, to enjoy the day, here it was very quite as all flight were cancelled from Schiphol airport… Again…. (stupid volcano)
Niels
(16-5-2010) "Shaving"
Well, as all of you know our boys love to waste “drinking water†by taking long, very long baths. I now can understand why I drove my parents mad when I took a shower twice a day. Especially over here in The Netherlands were drinking water is quite expensive.
Yesterday the boys started “shavingâ€. This was a “coincidence†as they used their own soap. As a present we receive bath foam specially for kids. See it as “play-doh for the bathâ€. It is thick foam and you can mold it. After a while it just “melts†like normal soap. It looks exactly like normal “shaving foamâ€.
A few days ago I was shaving in the bath and they tried to copy it, but there was no soap and nothing they could use as a razor. But yesterday they got their hands on toys in the bath AND proper soap. The boys didn’t hesitate and foamed their faces. Picked a toy that “looked†like a razor and started “shavingâ€. They giggled and giggled and I had a proper laugh.
(15-5-2010) "Vigo’s Birthday"
Today our next door neighbor’s youngest boy has his birthday, he became 6 and was very happy we were back in time to celebrate his birthday. He was scared we (Gabko and Gustik) would not be here by that time.
The boys were awake at 7.15 and got in to bath at 7.30. This is the fourth day it isn’t 6.00 or 6.30, so it is a blessing. At least for Natasja as I couldn’t care less….
Once the boys were bathed and fed they, guess once, wanted to go outside. We are very fortunate that we have such nice weather the past two days. 15 degrees, but sunny and no rain.
So again, boys wanted to play outside and we did.
As we had such nice weather I did some washing. A stupid thing occurred. As I know the boys put everything in their pockets, I check them before washing them. Before you know it your iPhone is missing and having a bath at 1600RPM… I unloaded the washing machine, went outside and started to hang the wash… tack,… something fell down on the floor…. USB stick… darn.. after closer inspection it turned out to be a USB stick I had in my own trousers.. So one can see (and learn) also check your own pockets J
And also this day passed without too much problems. They boys interact with other children and stay much attached to us. We couldn’t ask for more.
Having the boys is tiring and we are learning very quickly to get things organized effectively. As that is the key to winning. The more effectively we get things organized, the more time we have to catch up on our sleep and enjoy our lovely boys.
This afternoon while they were playing I noticed that these boys will have a shitload (excuse my language) of girls to choose from. I think 70% of the children at the playground were blond girls.. All the mams I’ve spoken or heard said “ooo very nice boys, curly hair and pretty dark eyes…â€. So they should have no problem finding marriage material….
Tomorrow we need to get some paperwork done, as that just keeps piling up.
Cheers,
(14-5-2010) "First day in Holland"
First full day in the new house.. Boys wanted to take a bath, so we did. They played with the new soap we got as a present. Looks like shaving foam, but it is like “rubber†doesn’t dissolve immediately, but after some time. So they can play with it. After a full hour in bath they looked like old woman. Wrinkled skin J.
We gave them a nice breakfast and they quickly started to ask.. no INSTRUCT us that they wanted to play outside. We agreed and let them play in our garden. Safe, nicely surrounded by fence and no evil can get to them,…. Well….. Our garden doesn’t comply with the boys standards… They already figured out that the playground next to our house is much better suited for them.. If we agree doesn’t matter to them.. So our backyard is not of any interest anymore.
But the playground is safe and used by many other children. So we have no problems when the boys play there. So we opened the front door and headed for the playground… A 20 meter walk.. and then they ran around the playground. Using any play device they could climb in, rock with or tumble over..
At 12.00 we opted to have lunch.. This was a problem, as the boys had to stop playing. Which in child language is the same as sleeping.. so a fight. But once I was able to tell them they could return AFTER lunch it was fine.
After lunch Natasja went to the shopping center with the boys to do some groceries. I went to the office to do some work.
In the afternoon they played a little more and after dinner up to bed. Same ritual as always, no problems.
(13-5-2010) "Dom Hollandska (home)"
Next morning at the moment they woke up I asked Gabko where we were. He said “friend’s house†Followed by “Dom Hollandsku tara†(house in the Netherlands NOW). So he was eager to go. But it was 7.00AM and too early for me.. I have to say that I slept like a baby.
We washed the boys. There were a lot of toys so they barely had breakfast. They played for an hour and around 9.15AM we left for “Hollandskuâ€.
Gakbo was still a bit ill, but not too much to worry about. We drove for about 1 ½ towards the German border. Luckily in Germany it was a national holiday which meant NO TRUCKS!! So once we entered the German Autobahn we could make some km.
Around 16.30 we entered The Netherlands and at 17.45 we were home. I parked the car and the boys got out. They ran to our house pointing “Dom Hollanskuâ€. For 20 minutes they explored the house and said several times “Dom Dobra, Dom Dobra†(House is good, House is good).
They didn’t like our cats, so I was a bit disappointed, but we just had to wait how that would evolve.
Of course they wanted to play and we let them. But after not too long Gabko came and started asking for the neighbors kids…. (we knew they were away and would return around 19.00).. So he had to wait. We weren’t sure if it was too soon for them or not, but they asked for it. So at around 19.00 the neighbors’ kids came over and started playing. It is funny to see that even when they don’t understand each other, they still can play and laugh.
At 19.30 we brought them to bed, so many impressions that day, and daddy was tired after 8 hours of driving..
They went down, without a fight and slept till 7.30 the next morning.
(12-5-2010) "Three days of fun"
Well, we’ve been home for two days and the last three days were fun. We really enjoyed all that has happened. First let me start were I left you the last time.
We went to court in Kezmarok on the 12th. At 12.00 we were waiting for the judge… At five past 12 the doors opened and we entered the courtroom. Our lawyer said, as he looked at the other court cases, that this particular judge is a “criminal judge†and not a family judge. He said, be prepared, as they only have a few “adoption cases†a year.
The judge started by reading and checking if all formalities had been met. (eg at least 50cm of A4 papers!!!) This took him roughly 15 to 17 minutes. Then he asked to whom he should address the questions.. Me, or Natasja. I opted for Natasja… She agreed. The judge asked Natasja four questions.
A: why do you want to adopt and why from Slovakia.
B: when did you first met the boys, and how did you experience the period since.
C: Will you continue working and what have you arranged for the boys at home.
D: Are you aware of any sicknesses or illnesses. (Are you happy with their medical state).
He was happy with the answers and asked if I complied and agreed with her responses. Of course I did.
And we were asked to leave….. and at 12.29 we were outside….. Stunned… Because we were prepared for zillions of questions about income, etc ,etc,
We waited for five minutes and were summoned back in the court room. The judge ruled in our favor and saw no objections. He asked the ladies how long it would take to do the paper work. They said, 1 ½ hour… (and that is QUICK!!).
So around 13.00 we went out for lunch (at least Natasja did) I went to Poprad to drop of the last stuff at our friends house and pick up a package for another friend… (Turned out to be food….!!!)
At 14.15 we arrived back at the court. Picked up the papers and at 15.00 we drove to the orphanage to get the boy’s passports!!
We received the passes and I donated the money for the curtains. The ladies at the orphanage were very delighted as this (curtains in the bedrooms) were a very practical and much appreciated donation. I hope to see the pictures soon.
We exchange e-mail addresses. They want us to send them pictures etc. Hopefully I can convince our translator to translate some of the little mails I sent into Slovak so the ladies at the orphanage can read what I am writing them…..
Well at 16.00 sharp we left the orphanage for the long 8 hour drive to our friend in Prague… It was a long drive, we stopped for three times. But the boys were very sweet. The understood we were driving to our home in The Netherlands and that it would take some time. Surprisingly they were not complaining. Not a single bad word or remark.
When entering the Czech Republic I didn’t bother to get a highway vignette. The one I had was expired for one day and I just took the chance. I did well as I was not pulled over.
At 23.00 we arrived at our friends. Boys were half asleep. We put them in their beds, explained them we were at friends and they fell asleep.
(12-5-2010) "Final Day"
I am writing this at 7.15 in the morning. It was a dreadful night. Gabko was crying and crying taking away the needed sleep for our 8 hour drive to Prague today, at least if there are no issues at court…. We are focusing on leaving today. If not that would be a great disappointment, but manageable… We just finished bathing the boys and are now preparing them for breakfast….
We’ll hopefully my next post will be from Prague, as that will mean we’ve made it today….
Cheers,
Niels and Natasja
PS. Keep smiling, as I will do so.
(11-5-2010) "Children’s day"
We supposed to be in court today, but as it was postponed for 1 day we had the they to ourselves. Well, not entirely. In the morning we cleaned out the house a bit more. This was a bit of a problem as Gustik had stomach pain. Also a high temp. But what can one do. . these are children. After Gustik had his afternoon sleep we went to the children’s home to say goodbye. We brought the gifts and had a very nice party. We got them all kinds of clothes and Natasja had collected new shoes (50+ pairs). You should have seen them. We made some pictures (which we cannot share on-line as they represent “state controlled†children). After 1 ½ hour we were ready and left for our friend. We had a lot of little snacks (Slovak Tapas) but the boys didn’t want to have anything. Luckily Gustik was getting well and his fever was gone……
The goodbyes were no problem this time. Boys went in the car signing “Groen is Gras†(green is the grass) as we took off. When we put the boys to bed Gabko started complaining “au, au pain in my belly/tummy†so he got “infected†by Gustik.. (when will be our turn?)
(10-5-2010) "Good news"
This morning we were still a bit stumped. The news we received yesterday wasn’t really helpful. We’re imaging us being in Slovakia for another four weeks. As I love the country and the surroundings I’ve no problem with this. But my company does need some proper attention. This morning I was called by my friend. He told me all should be fine and they court hearing would be postponed only one day… This made us very happy. We called around and late afternoon it was confirmed that the court hearing would be on Wednesday.!!!! We are so happy.
I went to Poprad to do some groceries. During that time Natasja was cleaning the house. I only needed bread and milk, could have bought it locally. But I would be back to quickly….. So I drove very slowly…. Annoying a lot of Slovak drivers J…
Once back Natasja had just finished. We had lunch and put Gustik in bed. Gabko was seeking his boundaries again. But all was fine during the midday. Gustik had a tummy pain so he now comforted by Natasja.
(9-5-2010) "Bad News"
This morning all was fine. Boys had their showers and breakfast. Afterwards we met with our friend and headed to “Hotel Hubertâ€. This resort has a play yard and some farm animals. They boys enjoyed the morning there. At around 13.00 we had lunch and they behaved very nicely. It was probably the first time for them in a restaurant. In the morning some disturbing news reached me. The Judge who would be hearing us would probably postpone the court meeting… His brother died and he had to attend his funeral.. Understandable of course. Do we like it…. No, because here in Slovakia it could mean that we have to stay for another month…. But what can you do on Sunday…
In the afternoon our boys played in the house and enjoyed it. No fights really nice afternoon. We were afraid they’d be angry again for parting them from our Slovak friends. But they were not. They seem to understand meeting them is temporary.
Dinner was fun. Boys ate pancakes as we had a very nice meal with our friends. Hotel Hubert is certainly a place I would visit again. Child friendly, and great food. I reckoned one pancake would be sufficient. But I was wrong. The boys both wanted more, same goes for mama… So for me, no pancakes left… later that evening I made myself a salad and had a backed egg. But once the boys started their desserts something funny occurred. Gabko was giving some of his dessert to Gustik. But only if Gustik would say “can I have another bit of dessert†IN DUTCH!! They were at it for over 20 minutes and filmed some of the time.. Really good, as we now are certain they playfully pickup the language.
After dinner boys had a bath, got in to their pajamas, placed the sticker on the calendar, watched some TV and went off to bed. This time they didn’t fell asleep quickly. It took over 50 minutes. But it were very nice 50 minutes. The boys were very very cheerful. They just kept signing the Dutch fairytale songs over and over. Laughing and laughing. But once they were asleep all was fine.
(5-5-2010) "5 AM"
Well this (for The Netherlands Liberation day) morning my little boy Gabko thought it would be nice to wake daddy at 5 AM. Well daddy didn’t think so, but how can you explain a 4,5 year old that it is REALLY early and you want to sleep. In short… You cannot. So I just had to cope with it. Luckily I was able to trick Gabko in to “staying†in bed for a good 80 minutes. But then Gustik awoke and the boys were convinced it was party time. So at 6.20 we all went down to have a shower.
I washed the boys hair and convinced Gustik the water was cold. (duh…) Just before Gustik went out of the shower, I detached the shower head from the wall holder. This way I could (more effectively) rinse out the soap of his hair. Gabko saw this and he was clearly interested in the shower head. I passed it to him and searched for cover which turned out no moment too soon. I closed the shower doors and dried Gustik. Helped him into his clothes while Gabko was having the time of his life playing with the shower head. He pointed it at his face, back, butt, chest, everywhere and just screaming and giggling during this exercise. I told him the water would get cold but he wouldn’t stop. I directed Gustik to the living room and told him he could play with the toys. He started playing and I went back to the shower…. Where our little friend was still enjoying his shower. By this time I would recon he would be cold. But he wasn’t. So I had to get into the shower (wearing my P-J’s) turn of the shower and get Gabko out… This was easier said than done as he was holding the shower head. I managed to shutdown the stream of water without getting wet, jumped out of the shower asking Gabko to follow.. Guess once. …. He didn’t want to. He turned around and quickly enabled the water flow. This was repeated four times (without getting wet). But I was bored. So I got in for the last time, selected “cold water†and got out. Politely asked him to come out so I could dry him, he refused… Turned around and hit the tap….. Well he was out of the shower quickly. And laughing he seemed to understand I changed the water temperature..
I made breakfast and we enjoyed it together. As always, no problems at all. I know my friends and you’d kill for the way these boys nicely eat their breakfast without playing with it or throwing it around the house J.!!! No mess, at all. They love the chocolate paste. So they have once slice of bread with chocolate paste and once slice with something healthy (meaning not sweet/sugary). This with ½ banana and ½ apple makes a nice breakfast for them. We showed this to the ladies of the adoption committee and one of them said, I would like a breakfast like that every morning….
The weather was not to nice today. We couldn’t see our neighbours house.. Heck, we couldn’t even see the end of the lawn (15 meters..) It was like dense fog, but somehow I recon it was just clouds drifting over the mountain edge into the slope. Luckily the boys understood and where just happy to play with the toys in the living room.
I think the boys were placed on the naught spot 3 times today. They seem to understand how it works and they now very quickly stop exceeding borders. Which is nice, cause that way remote controls, light switches and doors don’t break.
We played and cuddled a bit and then it was already time for us to have lunch. I made the boys some bread, very traditional they insisted on their lunch beer (yes my Czech and Slovak friends, they are very well cultivated and educated in your traditions). We served them their “beer†bottles filled with water and they drank their “beersâ€. After lunch I put Gustik into bed and Gabko stayed downstairs with Natasja. He started to play and was very cheerful and happy playing. I was together with Gustik and for some miracle I found myself sleeping next to him after one hour…. Well what can you say, even for me a midday sleep is tempting.
After about 1 ½ hour Gustik woke up and I dressed him. At this moment the “typical†Gabko issue rose. He noticed that Gustik got more individual attention (as I was dressing him) and immediately he started misbehaving. He got up the stairs past the point we agreed was fine (playing autobus). Ran into the bedroom and started throwing clothes around. I asked him to be nice, and to go downstairs. I just could have spoken gibberish as he (as expected) ignored it. We had to make him sit in the naughty spot. And after two minutes all was fine again. It’s a good thing Natasja figured out all the “educational stuff†around raising children as it is a great help at the moment. Keeping all the things straight and simple for the boys (and NEVER giving in) is paying off as we speak. We just find it sad for Gabko he has a more bumpy ride than he should have, Natasja and I both agree that the source of this is with the unequal treatment of the boys when they were in professional parenting.
After the boys settled down we asked them if they wanted to do some shopping (like if they have a choice….) Both agreed and quickly changed into their jackets ready for the car. We drive to Tesco in Poprad and did our groceries. We also got a lot of stuff for the childrens home. As the shoes and clothes we brought are fine for little children, but not for the 10 till 18 year old that are the majority in this children’s home. But we were successfull and Natasja is preparing all the stuff we bought for the “goodbye party†we probably try to organize in the children’s home on May 11th.
On our way back I had to sing in the car. I am so happy cars a have enforce glass as my signing would definitively have destroyed the older safety glass… But once I start signing Gabko starts laughing his butt of and once the song is over he keeps saying more/again…. And I cannot resist. Having to hear the same song over and over again is driving Natasja crazy, but I don’t see the problem…..
Once we arrived at the house (it was raining cats and dogs) we unloaded the car and the boys where helping unloading.. Bringing all the groceries to the kitchen… Again behavior we like to see, but also make us realize it is not normal for a 3 and 4,5 year old to do this. All the time they have spent learning this behavior they weren’t able to be “a childâ€.
We put all the groceries away and sat on the couch for a minute or ten. Then Natasja whispered “try to get them into their P-J’sâ€. I looked at the boys and said, shall we put on our P-J’s? They replied confirming, but as long as they didn’t had to sleep. I ensured that was not the case and they both swiftly ran up the stairs.. (It is always running or standing still, a normal pace is never in the question..). we changed in to the pajamas. Gabko wanted to have some body lotion… (yes, don’t ask me why, but the boys seemed to be lotion-ed every day at the professional mom….). I helped him, but he wanted more. Not so good for him, he emptied half the tube… So I completely covered him with the lotion….Which he didn’t like. So I explained to him, if you take it, you use it. Hopefully he’s more careful the next time. To my surprise during the process of changing into their P-J’s both of them explained how the remainder of the day would be for them… Once in their P-J’s we will go downstairs, put away the toys, have dinner, have desert, watch a cartoon on the television, brush our teeth and then go to bed. I asked them if that was fine. And the both replied with “yes, fineâ€.
During dinner the boys showed their knowledge of the “naughty†spot. I wrongfully used Gabko’s name instead of Gustik. So Gabko said “foei foeiâ€, Daddy to the naughty chair. So I played along and went to the naughty spot. Said sorry to the boys and asked if I was nice again. They responded positively and I was allowed back to the table. Then I took Gustik’s desert to assist him. He said, foei foei daddy and I had to go to the naughty spot again. This repeated itself for 3 or 4 times. Even Natasja had to go to the naughty spot. At one point Gabko was saying “me badâ€, “me naughty spotâ€, “me niceâ€, “me not naughty spotâ€. And he was repeating this for me, Natasja and Gustik. They are not afraid for the naughty spot anymore, as they clearly understand it’s purpose. Hopefully we don’t need the naughty spot in the near future.
After dinner we sat down, turned off some lights and tried to get some rest into the boys system. Was not really working today, but after the first episode of Bob The Builder, they relaxed on our laps and watched the second episode. Once that one finished I opted to brush their teeth. Of course they said “no sleep, no sleepâ€. But we just ignore that.
They brushed their teeth and we put them to bed. Today it was 40 minutes, not to bad at all. And again no fight flame out. But Gabko wanted mama to put him to sleep. After a few minutes I had to come to put him a sleep. Somehow he was a bit more active than usual. But Natasja said to me, please go downstairs, I’ll fix it. And after 15 minutes sitting alone downstairs she came down the stairs with a big smile on her face.
So another day without problems…
Be safe and don’t forget to laugh.
Niels
(4-5-2010) "Jackpot "
We seem to have mastered the art of getting the boys to bed. For the third night we’ve got the boys into bed without a fight. We’ve clearly made process and again we managed to get them both a sleep within 30 minutes. Gabko sleeps within like 5 minutes. Gustik takes a bit longer. He clearly is “replaying†the day. Saying all kind of gibberish words. But also Dutch words. We feel that the boys are starting to understand basic Dutch words like eating, drinking, you are sweet etc.
As before Gabko was pushing it today. He spent at least 20 minutes on the naughty spot. He clearly excepts “corrections†from me better than from Natasja. He knows touching daddy’s laptop, mobile phone, remote control of the telly will get him on the naughty spot. So when I am around he won’t try that. But as soon as I leave the room he “tries†it with mamma… Luckily she corrects him the same way. The same goes for Gustik, but he has no real “drive†to seek the “bordersâ€. I assume this will happen sooner or later.
Even though Gabko still remembers that he peed in his pants and I let him walk with that for a little while (which he proudly tells our Slovak friend!!) and we had a pretty cold shower together he seems totally relaxed and fine with me. He loves to play and cuddle with me and we don’t have much problems (besides the obvious one would expect). During the day mamma is “bad†but once he is scared he runs … to mamma (passing me)… And once he goes to sleep, I can go away because mama has to cuddle him to sleep…. So Natasja does complain (silently) that during the day she gets turned down. I just say to her, when it comes to basic instinct and his basic needs he just wants you. That’s worth so much more. (five minutes break to remember our death during and since WOII)..
We encountered another “discrepancy†in our boys behaviour and their home report. In the report it was stated that both boys are not afraid of animals. (Reports says they love animals and show no aggression towards animals). Unfortunately they are scared to death for cats, dogs, sheep, horses. Heck anything that moves and is not humanoid makes them run to mama… This is a bit of a problem as we have two cats (was also stated in our report, so don’t understand how they could miss it). Natasja and I both agreed we have to report all the discrepancies to the adoption council. Not that it is an issue, but merely that someone should figure out if the boys have changed overnight or if there might be some “faulty registration†with the reports made in the past. One or two differences we can understand, but we have now like 10 of them. Just makes you wonder.
As I still felt quite sick this morning, not because I have a fever or so, but because my coughing kept me awake all night I asked Natasja if she could shower the boys. Both of them refused…. Mama is not for showering… So tomorrow morning we’ll try again, but this time with me J. I bed a ten-er they will shower..
We had breakfast together and the boys wanted to play outside. We told them it was wet and cold, but both are unstoppable. So both of them went outside. Within the hour they both came back in, as it was “cold and wet†according to the boys.. Brilliant… Why don’t you listen to papa and mama than?
We had an earlier (12.00 sharp) lunch as I had to be in Poprad for a visit to a doctor. Our friend arranged it for me so I could have the issue with my itching cough looked at. I was lucky twice, first she was a doctor specialized in lungs and ears, secondly she spoke fluently English. So examined me, asked me the history and gave me a prescription (which, from memory, matched the exact treatment I had a few years ago for the same issue). As the doctor shared the building with the pharmacy I could quickly pickup my prescription. Than I had another surprise. I handed over my prescription, excused me for not speaking Slovak and the girl behind the counters said, that’s no problem if you speak English….. Even the older woman (which according to my exception was not in the age people generally would speak English, spoke English.) So I was happily surprised with these services in Poprad.
The boys were bored as they had to wait for like 20 or 25 minutes. Once outside they started to behave badly. Running everywhere and screaming. So I had to “help†Gabko into the car. Once in the car he started screaming hysterically. Natasja and I had to laugh and also started screaming hysterically Gabko looked at us with a face “w.t.f. is happening, what are they doing?â€. And after like 10 seconds he stopped screaming and smiled.
We where back around five and started to make dinner. We had dinner and boys behaved nicely, no fights, no nothing. So we actually enjoyed it.
After dinner we watch “Connie the cowâ€. Brushed the teeth and of to bed. No fights, no drama, all was fine. So in my book, 3 strikes, Jackpot!
Enjoy and remember, always smile before you go to sleep.
Niels
(01-05-2010 & 02-05-2010) "Getting in to it"
Well, yesterday the boys were bored. Luckily our friend called and invited us over for a visit. As he has a large garden with zillions of toys the boys were entertained quickly and plenty. We stayed for dinner and enjoyed a nice spring BBQ. Our friends obeyed our “how to handle adoption children rules†perfectly. We still are worried people will find them (the rules) “offensive†or “stupidâ€. But we just have to apply them. This is the only way for the boys to properly “bond†with us.
Anyway, dinner was good, and I especially liked the salad. Also the chocolate dipped pancake with strawberries was very tasty.
We left at 19.20/30. This is usually the time the boys are IN their beds. So once in the car the “bad behaviour†started. We drove home and the boys were upset as we removed them from their “play paradiseâ€. We were not allowed to speak to them. … The kept saying something as soon as we would start to speak. We left it like that.
We arrived at 20.10 at our house. Got the boys out of the car and guided them to their room. Brushed their teeth and started to undress them. Then something very upsetting occurred. Gabko started biting, biting real hard and just didn’t stop. I didn’t want to hurt him, but I didn’t want to get hurt myself either. He has pretty sharp teeth. The only thing I could think of was take a shower. I dropped my pants and socks and hold him tight to me. Jumped under the shower and he relaxed. Even though my shirt and sweater were soaked, it was worth the effort. As Gabko relaxed, he said he was hungry. We gave him a biscuit and in like 10 minutes his mood completely changed. He even said he wanted to go to sleep. But not in his own bed (we were in our room) so we tugged him in our bed and went downstairs. He slept like a baby. After 25 minutes I just swapped him to his own bed and all was fine.
Today (Sunday) the boys were up at 6.00AM. Gabko fell asleep again in our bed but Gustik kept playing at 06.30 and I saw no other option than to have a shower with him (they love morning showers). Now I’ve learned something. If I make the water nice and warm, they can sit in the shower for an hour. So now I have them showering for five minutes, wash them and their hair and gently turn the water a bit colder. I keep asking them if all is fine. They quickly say “coldâ€. And then they want out J. Saves a lot of water. At around 07.00 both boys were washed and dressed and ready to go out. Unfortunately it was drizzling. So no weather to go outside. The boys played inside. Natasja felt sick so I was in charge of the boys this morning.
After a while the drizzling passed and we could go outside. We build a fire place next to the garage from scarred stones. Put in some fire wood and lit it. The boys enjoyed it, as they were able to participate. After 40 minutes it started to rain again so we had to head back into the house.
Gistik had his afternoon sleep, and so did I. As I have a cold and was on duty last night I was still shaken. I slept for at least one hour and felt recharged. The boys woke me up by tickling my feet. We cuddled in bed for like twenty minutes. The boys played “bed timeâ€. So turning of the lights and saying, Goodnight. Then turning on the lights saying good morning. At least the light switch passed the “child proof†testing… We heard a lot of stories about adoptive children and them disliking physical contact. So we are very careful touching them. But these two boys are totally the opposite. They crave for bodily contact. The want kisses all the time and we regularly need to tickle them (on command). So that’s a good thing.
Gustik realy likes Natasja. And Gabko likes me more, but Natasja is good for food and going to bed. He tries to avoid her… This is very sad, but as we know how they both were treaded DIFFERENTLY by the professional mother we can understand Gabko’s dislike of “womenâ€.
Afternoon was fine. The boys played the soccer table (and Gabko very much likes it). Then they had to go to the toilet and played with water…. Sweater was wet and they wanted to change. So I said no, or pajamas. Strangely they agreed on the pajamas, as long as Natasja and I also would wear them. So I changed in to my pajamas and brought Natasja’s downstairs. Natasja didn’t even had to change in to them as the boys were happy as it was.
Our evening ritual started again. Eating… Desert..watching fairytale and avoiding the “sleeping†word. We let the boys watch as I cleaned the kitchen and prepared some stuff for tomorrow. At 18.45 fairytale had finished and I told the boys we could brush their teeth. They figured out what was going to happen. We were prepared for the worst, but they quite happily went upstairs. Brushed their teeth (very long!!). We cuddled them and just ignored their references to “sleepingâ€. Gabko was referring to “mama… something sleepingâ€. I couldn’t figure out if he meant he wanted mama to put him to bed, or that he wanted to sleep in mama’s bed. But he was not fighting and fell asleep holding me tightly. As soon as his muscles relaxed I escaped his wrestling lock, he opened his eyes, looked up, smiled, closed his eyes and was away. Gustik was a bit more moving. You can see he is younger and processes his daily experiences more expresively. He moves in the bed waving his arms. Eventually Natasja left, even though he was not asleep. 19.15 I was down, 19.30 Natasja was down. So for Gakbo, 30 minutes, including brushing, for Gustik 45 minutes including brushing. Please note: No fight or explosion today!!! We are very very happy about that.
Now drinking a cuppa and Natasja is about to read my “daily reportâ€.
(30-4-2010) "Strbske Pleso"
Today is Queens day. As we are not at home we could not attend the festivities. For me that is for the first in my lifetime. But I am not complaining. Playing with the boys’mucus last week paid off. I’ve got a sore throat and will spare you the details how my mucus looks like. It got so bad that I moved to a different room tonight so I wouldn’t keep Natasja awake with my coughing. At 6.30 the boys were up and running and in no way I was able to pursuit them to lie down or go back to bed. Natasja had a very bad night. Even though I wasn’t around to keep her awake, she didn’t sleep to well. So I bathed the boys this morning (again). They complained as they like the big shower better ????? I promised them we’d use the big shower tomorrow.
As I woke this morning so early I said to Natasja, we’ll go to Strbske Pleso (lake in the mountains). We’ve been there before and it looked like a nice change of scenery. Also the boys were eager to ride the car again. So we took off to Strbske Pleso. Took about 40 minutes to get there. Once there we walked around the lake. I hoped the boys would be able to walk the whole stretch. But at 2/3 of the stretch they gave up. We sat down and had some lunch (11.30). The last part I took Gabko on my shoulders and Natasja put Gustik in the buggy (cot). At 12.30 we were back at the house. Our goal was to get Gustik to bed. But as he slept in the car (and his brother Gabko too 
), once awake again he didn’t want to sleep. I stayed with him in the room. He rested for about 1 ½ hour, so not too bad.
We discovered something new about the boys today. Gabko is giving us a pain in the behind. But this afternoon we figured out what is going on. As Gustik was upstairs (laying in bed) and Natasja and Gabko were downstairs. Gabko was very nice and didn’t show any bad behaviour. Once Gustik came down the stairs, Gabko immediately started behaving badly. This was so obvious for Natasja and me we had to double check this. So I said to Natasja, let me clean the outside windows together with Gabko and make sure Gustik is not near us. We did so. And how surprising Gabko was very nice and helping. Instead of running away with the washing utilities he handed them and helped very good. Then I signaled Natasja to gently walk along with Gustik. As soon as Gabko noticed Gustik he started “behaving badly†again. I told Gustik to go away and Gabko’s behaviour returned to before (he was nice and helpfull again). We are afraid this is the result of the way their “professional mom†raised them. After reading the different reports we already suspected that Gustik was the “angel†and probably received more individual attention than Gabko. So Natasja and I now have to find a way to balance this indifference.
When they are playing together with no adults, they are very sweet to each other, but as soon as Gustik might receive some attention, Gabko just turns bad….well we just have to deal with it.
We are now preparing dinner and play the bedtime ritual again. All should be fine.
18.26… we had dinner and all went fine. They almost ate all their plates, had a desert, peed and brushed their teeth. In two minutes or so we’ll start the bed time fight. I predict Gabko will explode again and Gustik just lets it happen….
Back in say 30 minutes J
19.02 Gabko exploded as expected. Maybe he’s afraid to go to sleep (afraid we won’t be there when he wakes up?) or something else. (Bad dreams who knows). But it is the second night it went like a system. I have to undress Gabko (when he’s totally fired up) so that’s no easy job. Natasja comforts Gustik. And once he’s in his bed we swap places. Like a little miracle Gabko just stops screaming and crying in a few seconds as soon as Natasja took over my place. I kept on comforting Gustik and as soon as he breathes very stable and at the same intervals I leave the room. It doesn’t matter if his eyes aren’t closed. But as long as his hands stop moving he’s going for a deep deep sleep.
Natasja is still upstairs and we are waiting for Gabko to give up the fight and go to sleep…. I am making Natasja a nice cuppa (cup of tea) and she’ll probably head in early.
Today asides from being able to clean their own buts after going to the toilet. They check if there is anything left in the toilet after they flush. If so, they take the toilet brush and clean it!!!!! Remarkable. But to be honest, I don’t think this should be considered “default†behavior for a 4 ½ year old…
Anyway just a list of things they do.
1. Pee for themselves (mildly supervised, but merely to check if their clothes are back on)
2. Big toilet visit (supervised), Gabko even cleans his but himself, Gustik will bend over on hands and feet and lets his but be cleaned by mum or dad
3. Washing hands
4. Brushing teeth
5. Eating with spoon, fork, knife
6. Cleaning the floor if they drop some water or a drink
7. Drink from normal glasses
8. Undress themselves (supervised)
9. Dress themselves (supervised)
10. Ask politely for biscuit or something else
11. Close the door behind them
12. Throw away tissues in dustbin
13. Getting into the car seats
14. Blow their own noses
15. Say ‘excuse me’ (in Dutch ‘pardon’) when they burp or fart
There are probably more things, but these I can remember.
I just want to say this for the record. Our sons are not alcoholics. We are aware of the fact that they want beer the whole day. They constantly ask for it. We on our turn fill a bottle with water and they are happy with it being “beerâ€. When we put the same water (from “beer bottleâ€) in a mug or glass, the beer instantly changes from beer to water and they still are happy. Please understand we don’t give them beer. We didn’t even start with that. They must have picked it up somewhere else (as Pivo=Beer is national drink in Slovakia it doesn’t surprise us).
(29-4-2010) "Car vomit"
Picture the following, you (as a male) always drive the car. That’s fine and always works out. This morning the boys were up early (6.24). So we also got a “early†start. I opted to go out and do some groceries. So at 8.00 we were in Poprad doing the groceries. All was fine, the boys love to do groceries, they are helpful, they don’t scream or try to put things in the cart.
We loaded in the car and as the weather was clear, all was dry I opted that Natasja should drive. They boys looked a bit scarred (they should be, we all know the stories about women drivers – no offense-). But mamma took the wheel and headed up in to the mountains. I asked the boys if mamma was a good driver, both of them replied “no!â€. So I asked, is daddy a good driver? Guess once. Yes, daddy is the best driver. To confirm this mammy was speeding a bit downhill and took a corner like Nikky Lauda. (the comment I always get.) 5 seconds later Gustik’s face turns pale and he starts crying. So I turned around to ask him what is the problem. Instead of some Slovak words that I was expecting a nice shot of vomit was launched towards the back of my chair… I was both happy and unhappy. For once it confirmed my vision of women driving, and secondly the car was dirty… However, daddy wasn’t stupid. Halfway up the mountain road I said to Natasja, “Gabko and I will walkâ€. You can take up the car. Wise move, as by the time Gabko and I arrived at the house the vomit was cleaned.
I am quite sure Natasja won’t be driving until we’re back in the Netherlands….
(29-4-2010) "Winner takes all"
Today we won the bed time and sleeping battle. At least, in the evening. It just looks like that Gabko doesn’t need his afternoon sleep. Getting him to sleep in the afternoon is nearly impossible. This afternoon we tried it again, but he just refuses. He sits in his bed talking and singing. Doing this keeps his little brother awake. So Natasja and I decided that he can skip his midday sleep as long as he stays on the couch reading a book.
We got some very useful hints from our friend Jarmila. We are very thankful as these hints turned out to be very helpful. Gakbo still ignites when he needs to go to sleep. But the energy he burns in these two minutes totally exhaust him. Tonight it happened again. He was furious but I kept insisting he should put on his pajamas. He was crying and crying. He didn’t want to sleep he wanted to go outside and play. After two minutes of crying sitting on my lap he pointed to his bed and got in. Turned around and slept. He snores like a drunk old men J.
So even though there is “drama†it only lasts for a few minutes. It hurts my heart to see him cry. But it is not that he’s in pain, he just is tired.
So in the end the winner takes all. We put them into bed at 18.45 and at 19.15 we were downstairs looking at each other very happy and satisfied.
(29-4-2010) "Car wash"
As it was warm today (22+) I opted to wash the car. Riding the mountain roads has its toll on the car. The car gets dirty…. So this morning, after doing the groceries, I hooked up the water hose and started washing the car. Gabko and Gutik were both eager to help. This was a nice thing for the boys. They got soaking wet and loved it. Gabko was wearing his trousers he just peed in. Again he demonstrated how to pee keeping his trousers on…. I told him, he’d have to keep it on for one hour. He was not happy, but as soon as he got wet from cleaning the car, he totally forgot about his “wet†trousers. They were very helpful and we got it done in twenty minutes.
(29-4-2010) "Lawn mower"
Dam does this house come with a large lawn… When we came here our friend (who owns the house) father showed us around. He also showed me the lawn mower in the garage. He doesn’t speak English, but I figured out he wanted me to mow the lawn. As I mowed lawn as a young 15 year old boy for pocket money I positively reacted to his instructions. Well, after two weeks it was time to mow the lawn. And I have to tell you, it was fun. I told the boys they had to stay on the porch. And they did…. For like three minutes. They walked behind me on the freshly mowed grass. Every time I turned the mower for the next lane they ran away waited till I was back on track and were walking behind me. Lovely.
(29-4-2010) "Phone calls"
Each time the boys see me making a phone call they jump on to me. They want to speak to whomever is on the other side. Today my college Jeroen and Lenka (our most appreciated office manager of one of our clients) were the victim. They just ask how are you and are quite fast satisfied. But it is kinda fun to see them do.
(29-4-2010) "Frustration"
Today I figured out that Gustik sometimes teases Gabko. Even as a younger one he’s able to piss off his brother big time. I also was “corrected†by Gabko on this subject, but was not aware about the situation.
When Gustik wants to tease Gabko he names him Gabo, so without the “kâ€. Gabko then walks to him and probably repeativaly says “my name is Gabkoâ€. Gustik then usally responds with, yes Gabo… Making Gabko even more angry. Gustik than smiles… And I just love to watch them do this.
(28-4-2010) "Battle plan"
Well, I’ve to say managing the boys starts looking like a battle. Even though they both are very nice. As soon as we start having dinner they become a bit problematic. Not because of dinner or lunch. But because after lunch and dinner it is off to bed….
The first two days and nights went fine but for some reason in the last couple of days they start putting up a fight when they start noticing they have to go to bed. Of course, with all the associated risks aside.
To be honest, it is a very steep learning curve at the moment. We need to think ahead and beat the boys habit of being “naughty†as soon they figure out it is bed time. For example, the boys will ignite as an uncontrollable fire once we tell them to go a sleep. If they have not peed before their flame out, there is no way they’ll be peeing voluntary. Which could lead into peeing in bed. So now we’ve successfully executed the following battle plan to circumvent this unwanted situation.
Natasja or I will make the lunch or dinner. Together we’ll put on the “bib†(napkin) on Gabko and Gustik. Sometimes they won’t or don’t want to wear the bib. But we can trick them easily by saying, no bib, no food. This always does the trick and they accept it without a further fight. We will sit down and eat. As the boys are not so bad eaters (please note, BOTH ARE MEAT LOVERS) we usually get them to eat with promising them a desert if they finish their plate. As soon as they finish their desert we allow them to have a banana or mandarin. They figured out that’s the time things get dodgy. We totally try to evade the subject “sleeping†and just ignore any sentence containing “spinkat†(sleeping). I take a deep breath and encourage the boys to take a pee in the “men’s toiletâ€. This distracts them and they both will pee or make us some “brown handcraftsâ€. Now the moment arrives both Natasja and me fear. We take a deep breath and softly tell them we need to go upstairs……They both ignite and start screaming and crying. We figured out they don’t cry because they’re sad. They seem to be crying because for some other reason. But they are unable to tell. However, once we take off their clothes and put on their pajamas they stop crying after two minutes of comforting. Then the delicate part starts. Making them and keeping them physically “horizontalâ€. Natasja is gifted, she manages this beautiful. This is a skill which I can and should develop…. Sometimes it takes 20 minutes, sometimes 45 and sometimes an hour. But Natasja stays focused and won’t get annoyed. This job consists of gently kissing and comforting them until they fall asleep.
This afternoon Gabko failed to sleep again, so he was quite “unhappy†(tired) again tonight. But he finished his dinner, so we were not unhappy. After dinner he fell for the peeing trick. This made me less reluctant to be strict against him whilst taking him upstairs. Luckily he was quickly upstairs. Reason for this was because he was allowed to use the electronic teeth brush.. Unfortunately something happened that was not accounted for in the battle plan. He deliberately emptied a cup of water on both him and Gustik. This made me very angry. But I didn’t show it. Gabko started crying because he was wet. Gustik was just flabbergasted. I helped Gustik change in to his pajamas. Gakbo got angry and started hitting me on my back (not the first time, but clearly he was angry). Unfortunately for him Natasja saw this and without hesitation picked him up and undressed him. Telling him that it is not accepted that he hits other people and especially daddy! He then totally exploded. Strangely Natasja was able to comfort him in less than minutes. I had put Gustik into bed. But he was restless. Most likely because of the behavior of Gabko. We expected Gabko to give us trouble getting to sleep, but he was a sleep within five minutes. Gustik on the other hand stayed awake for over 30 minutes. But once he was asleep all was fine. Natasja and I had dinner, I made dinner preparations for tomorrow and we are off for an early sleep. The bonding process does exhaust us a bit. I was so lucky to get an hour sleep this afternoon. Natasja wasn’t…
We’ll we won this fight, and I just know with some more practice we’ll prevail.
So that was about the food. We also had some fun today. I call it “go away dogâ€. As the boys were scared by the neighbor’s dog some days ago, when walking outside they stay close to us. Today I got the idea to walk down to the road and back. Just to see how far the boys would come. About 1,5 km away is the entrance to the “mountain villageâ€. My goal was not to get there, but just to see when the boys would get bored or wanted to go back. We walked down the road. Pretty soon the dog was spotted by the boys. They asked me to pick them up. Instead of doing is I told them to stay put and that daddy would scare away the guinea pig, sorry dog. I took two steps towards the dog and the dog went away. You should have seen the faces of the boys “velky ocko, velky ocko†(big daddy, big daddy). As there are a lot of dogs around here (probably for safety). We encountered a few more on our way. Again I scared one away. When we encountered the third dog Gabko let go of my hand took a few steps towards the dog and said “shhh, shhhh , foei foei†somehow this convinced the dog to stop barking and walked away. Self assured Gabo returned, gave me his hand and said “Velky Gabkoâ€. Just let us hope he doesn’t get over exited.
BTW, Today I learned I am stupid.. They mumbled it to each other once awhile, but today, after I corrected Gabko I was “grloupyâ€â€¦. Well we just are ignoring it. But it is just another Slovak expression I can add to my vocabulary.
Please enjoy your days, as we are.
Niels
(27-4-2010) "Bedtime rituals"
I have to say Bedtime Rituals seem to take a lot of time. Also there is no “perfect†or “the wayâ€. This is what I experienced today.
This morning the interrogation committee visited us to “see for themselves†how we are doing. They arrived exactly at the time we agreed on. They ladies liked the place and we served them coffee and homemade chocolate muffins (my favorite). We talked for a while (well, Natasja did, as I was busy entertaining the boys and keeping them out of trouble.). Luckily all the ladies were very happy and left after one hour.
The plan was that our interpreter would catch a ride with one of the ladies (with private driver -> Read: civil servant) back to Presov. However, due to bureaucratic circumstances this was not possible. Somehow some Slovak civil servants are unable to think outside the box and adhere strictly to the rules. If it would be a matter of life and death I would agree. But it turned out to be a discussion about the fact that our interpreter was not listed as a passenger and there for could not travel…. For god’s sake how can you make life difficult for people around you. So I opted to drive our interpreter to Presov.(BTW, she’s on the list, so she’ll read this…) But let me get back to the subject….. Bedtime Rituals…
Our boys still need their afternoon sleep, as we found out the hard way yesterday. This afternoon, after the ladies left (and the boys where still quite excited about their visit), we had our lunch and put them to bed. Unfortunately Gabko doesn’t really accept me as the person putting him into bed. Hopefully this will change overtime, but for now it is a major issue as Natasja is the only one that can put them to bed. This afternoon I failed miserably. Gabko just keeps playing or wanting to get into his clothes (again). We were very lucky today. As I offered to drive back our interpreter she was still around. With her help we figured out that Gabko didn’t want to lie down. So she explained to him he was allowed to sit in bed, as long as he wouldn’t disturb Gustik. And he agreed. We went down and Gabko didn’t complain and fell asleep. Neighbors did complain about his snoring
We talked a little with our interpreter and I drove her off to her office in Presov. I have to say, very impressive ride. A lot of beautiful nature. For me it was nice to see other threes than pine trees. After 10 days in the mountains this was a welcome change of scenery. But to be honest, I only wanted to get back to my boys asap. On my way back I had to swing by the children’s home. As the morning with the ladies was so jolly nice the girl in charge of the “permits†forgot to issue a new permit that allows us temporary custody. I can only explain this as “good†as the focus was not on the paper trail, but on how the boys are doing. She kept apologizing, but I told her that this was not an issue.
Once I arrived our boys were delighted to see me. They both jumped towards me once I was in. The feeling that specific moment gave makes it easily to forget the long road we’ve travelled….
As I came home Natasja was just finishing preparation for dinner, so the boys washed their hands (probably for the 20th time today, as they seem to have unstoppable urge to wash their hands once they are dirty, been to the toilet, etc). Moved to the table and they ate, they ate big time. Natasja made a delicious pasta meal with minced meat, olives, herbs and spices. The boys loved it. After dinner they had their “cremiek†(dessert).
During their last spoon of dessert they immediately started with “nie spinkat†(no sleeping!). This evening we made the following plan. Let them watch 10 minutes of ferry tails, bring them upstairs together put them to bed quickly…. Somehow our perfect prepared plan changed. It became. Bring Gustik to bed. Let Gabko persuade Niels to have a shower again (yes, Niels was unable to resist) bring him to OUR room, and try to sleep in our bed. As you might imagine this did not work as we would wanted it to be. Instead of the usual 30 minutes, it now took over 2 hours…
I have to agree with Natasja we need to stick to the plan.. Even though this might upset the boys a bit, but that will be better than a daily two hour exercise. But on the other hand, that’s good as it save money on the gym. However, Natasja does not agree…
So my lesson for today, don’t get tricked into changing your bedtime rituals as you’ll be the one the pays the bill….
Niels
PS. Contact with mucus gives you a sore throat. But can also be the result of endless signing of a song for our boys.
(23-04-2010) “Child mucus isn’t dirtyâ€
Dear readers, just to update on the current events. As of this morning 11.00 we signed the papers for temporary custody for our two sons. This means we can go anywhere with them (within Slovakia) without permission or supervision.
Unfortunately both of ours sons currently have a cold. Thank Tesco for the invention of tissues. I now understand why tissues were invented. The guy should get the Nobel Price for Mucus.
The number of “used†tissue I was presented with today is unbelievable. Certainly the way these “used†tissues are presented to the “care taker†(me) is overwhelming. One would expect once used the tissue is folded nicely and disposed of properly in the dustbin. Well not even close, as I learned today. They boys seems to be well aware of “Mucus†and the feelings “exposed†mucus has on grownups.
It started this morning in the orphanage. (btw, Gabko can do his nose himself and Gistik almost). Luck ally Gustik copies Gabko’s behavior. So nose blowing exercise is copied… Guess once, the playing with Mucus exercise as well. Gabko had to “blow his nose†he quickly found a box of tissues, picked a tissue and blew his nose. He immediately came to me to show the result. I did not feel like a winner, but what can you do. Next thing he does is pass over the tissue, of course in such a way all the mucus was exposed and distributed evenly over my hand…. Then I made the worse mistake… I told him “bah†Meaning, not good in grownup language. I now understand that this, in child’s language means.. “This is not good, let’s do it AGAIN!!!†So Gabko runs to the table, picks a new tissue, and without hesitation fills a second tissue until it is soaking wet. I tried to direct this tissue’s payload to Natasja. … FAILED…. I could “catch†the second mucus load. From a corner Gustik was watching this event. He looked at Natasja, asked for a tissue. Natasja offered to help and assisted him by holding the tissue. Once finished Natasja had to hand over the tissue. (For whatever reason..would soon become crystal clear.) Gustik, without hesitation ran to me to hand over the (in this case nicely folded) tissue. I accepted kindly and he couldn’t figure out what was different in regards to Gabko’s tissue…. I was hoping that would be it for today. But, I was wrong, so wrong.
Later that morning in the car Gabko need to blow his nose again. He blew his nose. UNFOLDED the tissue and presented it to me. This was properly recorded by Gustik… I knew I was busted and ready to be taken down by Gustik, the only question would be how long.
As we arrived quite early, and the Psychologist and social worker were out for a Court case we had to return at 11.00 to sign the papers. But at 8.00 we already knew this would be happening. The director already told us J. So at 11.15 we returned to the orphanage. Signed the papers, received healthcare passes and returned to our house. The boys were very excited. In mucus language this means, a lot, and preferably with green chunks….
During the trip back a lot a nose blowing was done. We probably took down 2 or 3 trees worth of “paperâ€. And I was worried about the amount of paper we waste at the office….
After arriving at our house we needed to speed up the process, as it was quite late for the boy’s their afternoon sleep. We ate some bread, skipped the bath and got the boys into bed. As they were tired this wasn’t too bad. Took us less than 20 minutes to get them to sleep. During this time I was confronted with my first “mucus kiss†on itself a very unpleasant occurrence. Gabko went to bed lies down. I see his nose, I see the “MUCUS†and in no time he “launches†himself towards me to give me a kiss…. Splash…. Mucus everywhere on my face. This time I was partly prepared. I didn’t say “bah†and Gabko’s reaction was like “hmm, I did something wrong… why is there no response….†So he lay down. I got the bomb squad to eradicate the mucus from my face (also Tesco tissue). He accepted the situation and Gustik had nothing to copy. Lucky me.
At the time the boys were asleep I drove back to the orphanage. A) we forgot both their “papoetsky†(slippers) and Gabko “borrowed†an umbrella. Which he did not own.
Once I got back the boys were playing “Autobus†on the stairs. They sit next to each other. Gabko is the driver, Gustik the conductor. (no passengers, but that doesn’t seem to mind the boys.)
We played on the ground, cuddled and again MUCUS. This time in the worst way (I thought) Gabko found out that he could blow bubbles with his mucus and he had an unstoppable urge to show me his newly developed skill. UP CLOSE!!!! Again I refused to say “bah†or compliment on it. But tell me, would you be able to keep a still face once your little boy/girl pops bubbles from their noses….
Then, after discussion with the translator she opted to bring her to her own house. As she observed the boys and found that Gustik was showing signs of seeking contact with her. As she has done more adoption translation services she said, this is the indication I have to step back. The boys are satisfied and feel save in this environment and seek out new contacts. Me being her is not helping.. So on Sunday she will come over and visit.
She stays in a cottage down the road, just 8 minutes away. The boys understood she had to go. She explained to them and they were fine with it. However they asked if they could she her house. We all agreed this would be good for the children. So we got into the car. Bringing with me a couple of tissues. During this 20 minutes round trip they used four tissues. This time the translator was the victim so I had a silent laugh.
Back home we had dinner. Natasja had prepared the leftovers and both the boys are clearly “meat lovers†Veggies are no go… But pasta is okay. So we shall have to improve on our capabilities tricking the boys eating veggies.
After dinner they both looked tired. We hugged and cuddled them and whilst laying in front of the windows, said “goodbye Doggie, goodbye sheep, goodbye horse, goodbye grassâ€. Got smoldered with mucus again, but was at a stage I couldn’t care less anymore.
Took the boys upstairs. Gustik started to cry (he was tired, totally wasted). But Gabko was very helpful he showed how to undress and wear the pajamas. And our little copycat Gustik was fine once he saw his older brother doing it. And of course during this time there was a lot of “nose blowingâ€. For the boys there was at that moment no joy by showing the mucus. So I felt relieved.
As we need to bond with these boys we stayed with them in the room. Gustik in a little(baby/toddler) bed, Gabko in a double bed. I took the other side of the double bed and gently talked to Gabko he had to sleep. He tried. But moved around a lot. After a few minutes I felt his finger touching my head (no lights so quite dark). I though… that feels wet… and I immediately hear “bubbles popping†and giggling…….. instinctively I understood what happed. I WAS STREAKED!! With MUCUS!!!.. I took a deep breath. Picked a tissue, cleaned my face and Gabko’s nose. Then I realized, Children mucus isn’t dirty, it is just there……
A lot more non mucus related stuff has happend, but this was my day seen from my newly mucus experiance.
Our boys are lovely and we enjoy, no, love thier company.
